Millennial Real Talk: Navigating Chaos
Written by Solon Teal & Arshiya Kherani
TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn, and now Threads (!)…all these channels are full of content that make it seem like you do 1-2-3 and POOF - you have the perfect, most aesthetic life, relationship and career. But we all know that isn’t true. Friendships and relationships change, careers are forced to pivot, and things aren’t as simple as they should be.
Enter: two millennials, connected by a mutual friend, both trying to figure out how to “be successful” amidst a million changing variables.
We began working on this essay at the end of 2022, and since starting we’ve both gone through various, significant job and life changes. We probably could have published a 7-part series entitled “Everything We’ve Ever Learned About Life…and How It Can Help You Too” or some other click-baity BuzzFeed News (RIP, we millennials miss you) article. Instead, we’ve chosen to write a series of personal stories that have helped us navigate recent transitions.
Living through job cuts, a worldwide health crisis, and the dawn of AI that's changing what's real and what's not - you've seen life can be messy. Here, we’re sharing 4 combined truths and our stories behind them as we’ve navigated chaos through our 20s and early 30s.
1. Lean Into Your Why
Arshiya
Like many children of immigrants, out of college - I chased the “stability” of a job in finance. But, I took a sharp pivot into the world of startups when my passion project to make an activewear hijab for myself turned into a viable business idea. In this work - I abandoned the safety of a steady income and a straightforward path, and found one of my superpowers: leaning into problems that a lot of other people don’t care to solve. This was my first real step into exploring my “why.” I found tremendous joy in building solutions for women like myself, women who had never been asked our perspective, women who had never been represented in the world we live in.
Over the last 8 years, I have been continuously drawn to market gaps that affect marginalized communities - communities who don’t always have a voice in products and services but who I deeply believe should have a loud and equal voice. “What” I’m doing can change - as long as I’m being true to my mission - my “why” - of creating spaces where people can be empowered to belong.
Solon
I worked at Google after college–a big reason I think I got the job was because I had a really good story of having seen firsthand how workers in Argentina had used YouTube and Google to more effectively collectivize. I saw Google–and information–as the arbiter of opportunity. Much of what it did seemed like magic, and I wanted to be behind the scenes.
After being behind the tech, I realized that’s not actually where the magic is; the real magic comes not from the software but from what happens after software connects people to each other. The way in which people meet–the container of their interaction–is more important than the what. Across multiple companies I’ve lived the magic of seeing new teams develop, ideas conceptualized and built, and relationships started. In my social ventures like “Worlds Collide” I’ve seen new relationships, friendships, and romances start with a simple chance encounter and exchange of ideas.
We’ve got a lot of seemingly insurmountable challenges to tackle over the next few decades–climate, wealth inequality, radicalization, AI…and more. The magic - my personal why - is to better our collective interconnection and creativity. People > Software.
2. Build Your Monkey Bars
Solon
Over the last decade most of my social luck has materialized through loose connections – those I didn’t initially know well. This happened with Arshiya. A mutual acquaintance of ours—"AD"—noticed hers’ and mine intersecting interests around early stage startups and community-building, and facilitated an introduction, thus setting the stage for these very words being written and read by you.
But the catalyst for AD's introduction wasn't spontaneous. It was a byproduct of AD and my respective history of collaborations; going to classes together and trading notes on homework. This mutual respect and shared memories that AD and I had eventually led to trust, a trust which led AD to vouch for me and Arshiya to each other - which led to this collaboration.
This chain-reaction–a 'monkey-bars effect’–of one-off interactions and collaborations with friends and acquaintances has led to a network of connections and opportunities that have formed in ways I never expected. Having firsthand knowledge of someone else through their work style and strengths is an accelerant for whatever is next.
Arshiya
I moved to LA in my early 30s after living in NYC for over a decade. I had quit my job and was interviewing for new roles, but was feeling antsy about building community in SoCal. With some extra time on my hands, I started ideating on building a story-telling based community as a hobby, and I asked one of my best friends from college to co-host it with me, Anum. She’s originally from SoCal, and she excitedly pulled her network of resources together to support the event. We rented out a coffee shop, posted on social, and voila! We threw a storytelling party. And then we did 7 more 🙂
Like Solon shared above, the best people to work with are the ones you’ve probably already met - or are a “monkey bar” away. Collaboration - IMO - is a fancy way of saying “doing something I like with my friend (or friend of a friend) who also might like to do that thing.” Solon and I both like writing - and so we wrote this essay. Anum and I both like telling stories and throwing parties - so we started The Potluck Presents.
Collaboration isn’t always easy. But maybe it doesn’t always have to be so hard either! Maybe it can be as simple as asking a friend for help, or to spend time doing something we might enjoy together.
And thank goodness for AD! Hopefully this is the first of many Solon x Arshiya collabs.
3. Feedback Is Your BFF
Arshiya
When Anum and I started The Potluck Presents - we talked about it with everyone who would listen. Our first idea was to host a storytelling hour. We told our friends about it - and they said they don’t know what stories to tell or how to tell them!
So we learned that there might be value in designing workshops around stories instead, and creating moments for people to connect intentionally, even if they aren’t telling a story on stage. We now offer exactly this format in our monthly series, all thanks to honest feedback.
When we talk about our ideas, we get input; we get resources; we start experimenting. We learn through free conversations if our idea is terrible, and then we can figure out if we should ditch or pivot. And similarly, we learn (free of cost) if our idea has legs.
When people are excited about the possibilities of a future we are painting…that’s the start of “buy in.” These people are our early adopters, our promoters, our brand affiliates before we have a brand. These people are our first collaborators, our shapers, and our living, moving, breathing prototypes. Take their feedback, run with it, and be the doer that other people can’t (or aren’t always willing!) to be.
Thanks to a lot of feedback, The Potluck Presents has grown to a community of close to 200 people, and across 8 events we’ve achieved an NPS score of 96%. I attribute these wins to feedback - people tell us what they like and dislike, and we adjust every event based on that. While building a community, I’ve come to learn that every opinion is at least as important as my own.
Solon
Feedback has served as my constant guide through each venture and transition I’ve ever made. From encouraging praise like "I would do this every week" to jarring criticisms such as when a user said "I hated this. I would give it a 0/10." They all have been the primary inputs for directions.
However, it's often the nuance in feedback that proves most telling to me. The subtle distinction between "that was fun" and "that was Funn!!", a slight pause before an answer, an unread digital message—all speak volumes about consistency, direction, and resonance. Reading between the lines has offered some of the most invaluable insights–and given me intuitive direction on where to go next.
Ultimately, I’ve found the most value of focusing on what I’m not hearing because it forces me to not stop at the primary level of feedback–which can often be confirmatory–and look deeper at the things that are less obvious.
4. Not All Advice Is Good Advice
Solon
In my early career, I regarded anyone with more experience as a potential mentor. However, this perspective shifted during my time in business school.
Many of my professors had thrived in corporate or entrepreneurial roles before academia—a stepping stone to their teaching careers. Interestingly, in their classrooms, they stressed mindfulness and values alignment. Although I agreed wholeheartedly, I couldn't help but question if their prior success had relied on practicing these values. Would they have secured their professorial roles if they had adhered to their own teachings? Whether they had or hadn’t, their perspectives were invaluable when they gave them.
The context of the advice giver is essential when considering advice. After all, life unfolds in seasons. Strategies that worked in the passionate, ambitious stages of one's 20s may not resonate in the more reflective twilight of a career. Someone striving in their career might stress the importance of hard work and sacrifice, while the same person, looking back in retirement, might emphasize balance and mindfulness. Same person, radically different perspectives.
My strategy has evolved to balance external perspectives with self-awareness. I maintain a diverse network for advice, but the final decisions are grounded in my own values and objectives. In seeking advice, I strive not just to understand the 'who' but also the 'when', considering the life stage and perspective of those I turn to for counsel.
Arshiya
One of my earliest advisors for Sukoon was a telehealth startup founder. He was the only startup founder I knew at the time. He invested his time and energy in me in a way that I can never repay. In the earliest stages of my startup…he pushed me to go from thinking → doing, and he empowered me to enter a phase of critical early validation of my idea.
About a year into my founder journey, I had started to find my way into the DTC/apparel founder space. Some of his advice started to create friction with what my cohort of physical product co builders were doing to create success for themselves just a few steps ahead of me. And I had to learn the tough lesson of learning that I had outgrown him as an advisee. Let me explain.
His expertise was in building a tech product, which is rooted in rapid iteration and beta launches. On the flip side, a DTC company is rooted in efficient manufacturing, marketing, and ultimately - getting product into the hands of a consumer. A “beta” of a tech product can be overridden with an update in software…even the glitchiest of betas can be forgotten. For a physical product, once in the hands of your customers, it’s theirs forever. I learned that tangibility is radically different between the two, which vastly changes priorities and what “rapid iteration” means across different verticals.
As I added more industry specific advisors to my team, I realized that neither advisor was more or less valuable than the other – they contributed to different parts of the same journey in equally profound ways. A mentor/mentee relationship can be great for a period of time…and then it might make sense for both parties to “graduate” into new relationships that serve everyone equally well.
And that’s all from us today: two millennials trying to navigate through constant chaos. Whether you’re at a personal or professional crossroads, or just have some anxiety about where the world is right now, we hope our stories can validate your experience, spark an idea, or inspire a conversation that can shape your next steps.
We’d love to hear your stories in the comments…(or a future collaboration?!) around any of these topics.
Work With Us
Together - we’ve gone through 15 role/company transitions between the two of us in our 20+ year career. We each offer consulting services for growing businesses and rising professionals. Learn more about us below.
Arshiya Kherani
I am a curious and purpose-driven builder, connector and thinker who is passionate about uplifting women and people of color. I’ve worked across finance in the public and private sector, operated my own business, and have worked at agencies and in-house. One of my most defining moments was founding a globally-recognized modest activewear DTC brand for Muslim women (called Sukoon Active). Currently, I am a Startup Consultant and Executive Coach for rising leaders and for brands under $20 million in revenue (work with me!). In my “free” time, I run a monthly storytelling series called The Potluck Presents, I take a lot of leisurely walks, workout, and travel. Subscribe to my newsletter to hear from me on the reg.
Solon teal
I’m a hyper generalist, with most of my experience being in tech product and operations. I’ve co-founded two startups (WC and Talk Social) that focused on creating novel social experiences to create opportunities for social connection, and have also worked in innovation strategy, venture capital, product management, and sales operations at various sized companies. I’m also a co-parent of 2 human kids, have an intermittent vipassana meditation practice, and love hosting raging parties and intimate gatherings. You can connect with me via LinkedIn to chat more!
