I got laid off recently and the first thing I thought was “I failed again.” I was embarrassed, tired, and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want everyone to feel bad for me. My career has been through so many ups and downs since 2015, when I abandoned the safety of my desk job and started my own direct-to-consumer business.

My friends & family have shown up for me over and over again…they’ve supported my Kickstarter, posted about my brand on social, come out to races, Venmo’d me rent money…the list goes on and on. And the idea of so many people believing in me over the years and me having failed at something yet again felt almost unbearable.

So, instead of dealing with all my feelings, depending on who I was talking to - I told them I left my job. Somehow, shifting the narrative - even though I was shifting it to a lie - felt better than admitting that I wasn’t good enough.

I had a spidey sense that layoffs were coming.

I was already interviewing at 3 different early stage startups when it happened. I naively thought I could beat the layoff and sail into a swanky new job before anyone knew the unbearable, unfaceable truth. But, spoiler alert: that’s not how my life works 😂

• Company 1 // Head of Growth - ghosted after the final interview

• Company 2 // Marketing Lead - “after careful consideration” they are changing the salary structure to an “unpaid” position for 3 months, after which they will consider a salary + equity deal based on performance (who would even do this?!)

• Company 3 // Head of Growth - shared that I’m in the top 2 candidates, but the economy is so bad and there are so many candidates available, and the other person has 20 years more experience than I do and is asking for the same salary

After the 3rd, I made up my mind: I’m not doing this anymore. These odds are…sucky. I’m not putting my salary, my self-confidence, and my self-worth into the hands of someone else. Not when it looks like this. Last year, I interviewed for 4 months and had close to 60 informational/real interviews before landing the role I just got laid off from. The time I spend applying, schmoozing, networking, doing free interview projects…they tear away at me. Not only am I not earning during this time, my self-confidence is declining, I’m burning through my savings, and I’m not doing the work I love: growing new businesses & the leadership skills of the leaders that lead them.

It’s not that I can’t find a job again…it’s that I no longer want to.

I started to imagine a future where I only work with people and projects that I care about. A future where I am not selling my soul to make ends meet. This future feels scary because the stakes are higher. Because I’ve failed at running a company before. Because I…can’t keep a job at a 10 person start up that may or may not be around in a year? BULLSH*T. I had to call myself out because in 2023, it’s riskier to bet on an employer than to bet on myself.

So as I planned to “soft launch” my new thing…the more I kept coming back to… The Lie. How big of a difference is there really, between “Quitting” and “Getting Laid Off”? Well, “quitting” indicates autonomy, a decision I made about my own life (which didn’t happen), and “getting laid off” means someone else chose my fate. I started practicing - with some close friends, saying the words out loud, “I got laid off.” I practiced how it would feel to receive their pity - or their judgement.

The inevitable truth

The more I practiced, the more I ran into the inevitable truth: I’m not just going out on my own because I’m feeling lazy about applying for jobs; I’m going out on my own because I have been burned over and over again by the startup and corporate world. And not only do I not want to experience that anymore, I want to empower people to experience better than what I’ve experienced.

And that’s when I realized: The Lie wasn’t going to work. I had only once choice if I was really going to pave this new path: start with The Truth.

It’s time: time to own my story, time to tell my story - without shame, without feeling like a failure, and without feeling like it’s the end of times. I’m excited to rebuild my future from a place of hope, a hope that can only come from facing and overcoming the truths we sometimes find ugly. From a place where I get to do the thing I’m best at - build something from scratch. Meet Arshiya Kherani: Startup Consultant & Leadership Coach 🎉🎉🎉

Step 1? Do this.

Step 2? TBD! But I promise it’s gonna be fun. And I’m gonna share all that fun with you every week in my newsletter Nobody Asked Arshiya (<<< Subscribe!)

Thanks for reading, and for cheering me on in my DMs, on my social posts, texts, email…everything. You, the Internet, are sometimes the best place to face our greatest truths. 🚀🚀🚀